I’ll Go First: Being Authentic and Making Friends
6 The one who is taught the word is to share all good things with the one who teaches him. 7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.
My bible study group dove into this part of Galatians during a 6 week group study that we did. I want to dive into this message a little deeper because the take away from this really spoke to me as I felt that this was God sending me a message in the season of life that I am in.
Since my husband and I have worked in collegiate athletics, we have both experienced moving every few years of our adult lives. This isn’t unusual and you actually become accustomed to this lifestyle. When you’re the one working the job and long hours before a spouse and family come along, it’s a life that is the job and because it’s only you… it is what it is because you’re pursuing your dreams to work in athletics. Because of this, when you aren’t working you typically just relax at home or on the rare occasion that you have an ‘off’ weekend you head to visit friends and family or they come visit you. As you can see, not too much time to make new friends, have hobbies, and do much besides work.
Where am I going with this? This was my lifestyle for about 8 years… it was go, go, go all the time and work was a constant. As the word speaks… “whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.” My husband and I were successful in our work but that’s about all we have had: each other and work.
Then, I found myself entering the world of motherhood. Our beautiful daughter was born in 2015 and we couldn’t be happier! We decided that I would stay home with her since we were blessed enough with my husband’s salary to provide for our needs. Being a mom is such a blessing and it was definitely an adjustment period with a LOT of learning! Once we settled into our new life, I looked up and realized that I had NO local friends. ZERO! I was so used to a lifestyle of all work, all the time that I needed to explore what this new life was going to look like for me.
In the bible study group we talked about this verse and the “I’ll go first” mentality. With this, things do not just come to you… you definitely reap what you sow! In new situations and seasons of life it is necessary to go first and be the first to put yourself out there in hopes that other people will reciprocate to make a connection. “I’ll go first” is scary because you expose yourself to others not quite knowing what response you might get. But I believe this mentality is just the risk that you need to take in order to create lasting and meaningful relationships. Otherwise, isn’t talk just surface level? What is the fun in that?
There I was with a baby in tow and no friends… what’s a girl to do? I went first! Put myself out there, felt super vulnerable, and looked for friends. Let me tell you… mom friends are hard to make! A lot of people seem to have their own mom cliques and ‘woah!’ it’s a chore to just find some people who want to make new friends. I joined some moms groups and a moms bible study. I kept going first, meeting people, and praying to find some friends that I would click with. I’m still on a journey to find my tribe, but I am definitely in the process of making some friends along the way! I’m not going to give up as the scripture says ‘don’t lose heart’ or as Dory says ‘just keep swimming’ until I feel that I am in a season where I reap what I have worked for… new friends!